Falling in love is a temporary feeling

Ah, the magic of falling in love—the butterflies, the stolen glances, the daydreams, and the constant urge to be with that special person. This heady, emotional whirlwind is often heralded as the pinnacle of human experience. But what if we told you that this euphoria, as mesmerizing as it is, is a temporary phenomenon? This may sound pessimistic to the incurable romantic, but understanding the fleeting nature of falling in love can actually pave the way for more enduring, substantial relationships.

The biochemistry of love

Romantic love, especially the initial ‘falling in love’ phase, is deeply rooted in biochemistry. During this period, your body is like a chemical factory churning out a host of hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals are responsible for the “high” you experience. They make everything seem brighter, increase your focus on your partner, and help you form a strong emotional attachment. However, science tells us that this phase usually lasts from six months up to two years.

The cool-down phase

After this period, the hormone levels start to taper off. The dopamine-induced excitement gives way to a more secure, predictable form of love. This phase is often termed ‘companionate love,’ where the focus shifts from passion and infatuation to deep emotional attachment and partnership. For many, the transition can be startling, often mistaken for falling ‘out of love.’ however, this shift is natural and can, in fact, signal the maturing of a relationship.

The social context

Our culture often romanticizes the initial stages of love. From movies to novels to pop songs, we are fed an endless diet of stories that focus on the ‘falling in love’ part of relationships. This can result in unrealistic expectations. People may move from relationship to relationship, chasing the high of the initial stage, thinking that once it’s gone, the relationship is not ‘meant to be.’

The importance of being aware

Understanding that falling in love is a temporary phase can help you prepare for the phases that follow. It can keep your expectations realistic and encourage you to invest effort into maintaining the relationship. The initial attraction may be what brings you together, but it’s mutual respect, trust, and shared values that keep the relationship strong in the long run. In other words, falling in love might be involuntary, but staying in love is a conscious choice.

Emotional intelligence and lasting love

While the initial rush of falling in love may be transient, emotional intelligence can sustain a relationship over time. The ability to manage your own emotions while understanding your partner’s feelings can significantly contribute to relationship longevity. Emotional intelligence paves the way for better communication, more meaningful interactions, and a deeper, more compassionate understanding of each other.

The value of deep connection

Even though the intensity of the initial phase may fade, it can be replaced by something far more meaningful—a deep emotional connection. This is a love that’s weathered storms, that’s seen ups and downs and has not only survived but thrived. This enduring love might not give you butterflies in your stomach, but it provides something far more significant: a deep-rooted emotional bond that can stand the test of time.


Falling in love is a beautiful, intoxicating experience, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a temporary but necessary phase that leads to the possibility of a deeper, more meaningful form of love. If you’re in the early stages of a relationship, enjoy the magic but remember that real love is not just about falling; it’s about choosing to stay in love every day. And that is a love that can last a lifetime.

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