Guarding your feelings in relationships

Entering a romantic relationship is like embarking on a thrilling, unpredictable journey. It offers promise, excitement, and, sometimes, an opportunity for lifelong companionship. However, every journey, no matter how beautiful, comes with its own set of challenges and vulnerabilities. Guarding one’s feelings can be seen as an act of self-preservation. But how do you strike the right balance between being emotionally open and keeping yourself from unnecessary hurt?

Understanding the need to guard your feelings

Before diving into the how-tos, it’s vital to understand why guarding feelings is important:

Prevent heartbreak: not every relationship is destined for success. Protecting your feelings can help buffer against potential heartbreak.

Avoid over-attachment: early in a relationship, it’s easy to become overly attached, leading to potential codependency.

Maintain self-identity: relationships, especially intense ones, can lead you to lose sight of who you are as an individual.

Striking the balance: tips for guarding your feelings

1. Take things slow: there’s no need to rush. Give yourself time to understand your partner and let the relationship develop at its own pace. This allows you to process emotions and developments gradually.

2. Communicate openly: while guarding your feelings is essential, communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If you feel overwhelmed or uncertain, talk to your partner. Often, mutual understanding can alleviate many emotional concerns.

3. Avoid idealization: it’s easy to put partners on pedestals, especially in the early stages. However, it’s essential to remember that everyone is human, complete with flaws. Idealizing can lead to disappointment when reality doesn’t match the fantasy.

4. Set boundaries: boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re markers of respect. By setting clear emotional and physical boundaries, you ensure both you and your partner have a mutual understanding of each other’s limits.

5. Stay grounded: keep in touch with your individuality. Engage in activities that you love and maintain relationships outside of your romantic partnership. This ensures you have a safety net and a broader perspective.

6. Trust your instincts: if something feels off, trust your gut. Your intuition is a powerful tool, and it’s often worth listening to those inner voices when it comes to safeguarding your emotions.

7. Seek counseling: if you have a history of getting hurt in relationships or find it challenging to balance emotional vulnerability, seeking professional advice can be beneficial.

8. Remember past lessons: every relationship, whether successful or not, provides valuable lessons. Remembering past experiences can offer guidance on what to do (or not do) in current and future relationships.

9. Practice emotional self-care: engage in activities that nourish your soul and mental well-being. Whether it’s reading, meditating, or journaling, these practices can help you process emotions healthily.

10. Stay realistic: every relationship has its highs and lows. By remaining realistic about what to expect and understanding that no relationship is perfect, you can manage your emotions more effectively.

The value of vulnerability

While the above strategies focus on guarding your feelings, it’s crucial to understand the importance of vulnerability. True connection arises when two people can be their authentic selves with each other. Guarding your feelings doesn’t mean constructing impenetrable walls; it means being cautious, yet genuine, in your emotional expression.

Vulnerability, when exercised with discernment, can be the bridge to deep intimacy. It involves risk, but it’s also the gateway to genuine love and connection. Thus, the real art lies in balancing vulnerability with emotional self-guarding.


Guarding your feelings in a relationship is not about emotional detachment but about ensuring that you’re emotionally safe. By maintaining the right balance between protection and openness, you can embark on a romantic journey that is both profound and safeguarded against unnecessary pain. After all, a relationship should be a source of joy, growth, and mutual respect. By guarding your emotions wisely, you can enjoy the beauty of connection while also cherishing your own emotional well-being.

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